How to Get rid of Guilt without Confessing
How to Get rid of Guilt without Confessing
Guilt is a very dangerous feeling to have. It is a feeling that you cannot describe in words. When you break a promise, cheat on someone or do something that you should not have done, you start feeling very guilty. Guilt that you have let down yourself and others’ trust in you, can break you completely if you don’t handle it well.
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More often than not, relationships and psychology experts recommend you to open up to others to feel light and get rid of the guilt.
Yes, confessing your mistake and speaking about what drove you to commit that mistake might help you in some cases. However, most of you may feel uncomfortable in confessing your mistakes for fear of failing in that relationship.
This brings us to the question, how to get rid of guilt without confessing. Here, we have given you five simple but effective ways that you can try to lighten the feeling of guilt within you.
Before you get to read about these tips, it is important that you understand this point – you can never get rid of guilt completely, especially if it involves hurting another person who loves and cares for you.
Most of these tips involve brining a mindset change within yourself. So, ensure that you try these with all your heart, though they may seem hard to follow initially.
Though this term may seem simple, it has powerful repercussions, especially when you are feeling guilty. When you do something that you shouldn’t have, you have to first accept the same.
Never escape from your actions and try to blame the situation or another person for your bad behavior. While it is important to be responsible for your actions, it is also important that you don’t define your character by this one mistake of yours.
One of the best ways to reduce your guilt without confessing is to understand that your actions don’t represent your character. For example, at the office, you may have behaved very rudely with a co-worker, for which you are feeling guilty after you come back home.
However, at home, you are still the happy, doting husband or father, who goes about his duties without letting the guilt affect your other roles.
So, you need to accept that you don’t become a bad person just because you behaved rudely with someone. You aren’t a completely good person, either because you are performing your roles to perfection at home.
There is a grey bit of person in every human being. So, accept the fact, be remorseful for your actions, apologize to the concerned person and move on to become a better human being.
2. Don’t be too Hard on Yourself
More often than not, people punish themselves a lot because of the guilt that is slowly eating them. They think that they deserve the strictest punishment for the mistake that they have committed.
Some of them try to injure themselves to get rid of the feeling of guilt. However, this is the wrong move. These things will only make you feel worse in the long run.
When you are in the mood of punishing yourself severely, your mind gets completely blocked. You are not in control of your feelings, which is why you will not have a clear head to see things through and practically solve them.
Punishing yourself severely involves inflicting burn injuries to yourself, getting addicted to alcohol or drugs and the like. All of these will lead you to do things for which you will end up feeling all the more guilty in the long run.
Once you have mastered the art of self-acceptance, you will know better than getting into unnecessary trouble by magnifying your guilt. You make a mistake, you accept it, you feel sorry for it and you try to fix the issue to become a better person. Life is simple, so don’t let your guilt complicate your life.
3. Forgiving Yourself
One mistake will not make you a terribly bad person; if you don’t forgive yourself, nobody will. Practice the art of self-compassion if you want to lighten the burden of the feeling of guilt. You have to understand that all human beings are bound to make a mistake at some point or the other.
We just have to be there for ourselves and let go. There’s no point crying over spilled milk and the more important thing is to gather ourselves and run. The more we keep brooding, the more the chances of making mistakes. So learning from the mistakes we make and more importantly vouching not to commit them again is a good thing.
While you forgive, remember never ever to forget what you went through and what the repercussions of the mistakes were. Keep the memories of all that etched in your mind and make a promise to yourself to never tread that path again.
4. Render a Wholehearted Apology
Once you forgive yourself, you will get the courage to face the person whom you hurt and apologize to him/her. A heartfelt apology will definitely make you feel better and reduce the feeling of guilt to a considerable degree. There some important rules you have to follow when you apologize.
Have you done something to hurt your loved one? Apologize to her for what she thinks you hurt for. Your apology must be unconditional, wholehearted and voluntary. Never apologize to sort things out between the two you. Never apologize by giving her an ultimatum to accept your apology.
Remember, you have made a mistake; you have to set aside your ego & arrogance while apologizing. Give her all the time in the world to make a decision. After all, she is in a terrible dilemma as the person she has loved has betrayed her! So give her time and space to think about what she wants to do with your relationship.
5. Become a Better Person
That’s the only thing you can do to keep the ghosts of your guilt hidden inside you forever. As we told you earlier, you cannot wipe them away for good.
However, you can reduce the impact by thinking about what you can learn from the entire episode. What did this mistake and guilt teach you? What shouldn’t you do again to be a good person? These are the questions you should ask yourself.
Punishing yourself severely will never make you learn anything. On the other hand, learning from your mistake will help you approach your life with a new meaning. When you realize the huge price that you have to pay for your mistake, you will be thankful for the second chance that life has given you.
The Bottom Line
The moment you accept you have made a mistake, your redemption process starts from there. It is important to admit to yourself that you have made a mistake knowingly or unknowingly. You are not a bad person because you have committed that mistake.
Don’t judge yourself because of this. More often than not, you don’t make a mistake if you know that the guilt caused by it can act as a slow poison for you in the long run.
Here are some tips that will help you evaluate your mistake better and help reduce your feeling of guilt:
Think about the situation you were in when you committed the mistake. Were you angry, upset, depressed, or a victim of any other emotional turmoil when you committed that mistake?
Would you have behaved in the same way if you had been healthy physically & mentally?
These will give you some assurance that you aren’t a bad person and that the mistake was committed because your mind and body weren’t in your control. You can work on ways to improve your physical and mental fitness so that just mistakes don’t happen again.
Are you feeling guilty because you were the reason for somebody else’s problem or misfortune?
If that’s the case, you have to understand that you are in no way responsible for anything that’s not in your control. You would have never hurt anybody intentionally if you had known that your action would cause them pain.
There is only a thin line between being responsible for your actions and being unnecessarily responsible for misfortunes that arise out of your actions. Know this difference and your guilt will be reduced considerably.
The bottom line is that the feeling of guilt will not do anything good to you. By feeling guilty, you cannot undo what you have done earlier. You cannot act like everything is normal. You cannot make the other person forgive you just because you felt guilt.
So, what do you get from feeling guilty? Absolutely nothing!
If you really want to change something in your life and reduce the guilt that you feel from a mistake, you have to start feeling remorseful about the same.
Remorse is when you feel bad for that particular action that you committed, not for being the person that you are. While it is alright to feel guilty for your mistake, ensure that you don’t succumb to this feeling. Instead, turn your guilt into a learning experience and become a better human being.
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