How To Stop Self Destructive Behavior
How To Stop self destructive behavior and live a more positive, meaningful, and fulfilling life. Have you wished for something badly, for so long, trying harder to get it, but failing badly?
Have you ever set big goals and milestones that you did not reach?
Or have you ever wondered why you’re still repeating similar patterns of bad behavior over and over again, therefore, getting the same results when it’s all said and done?
The truth is, most of us go through self destructive and self sabotaging phases almost every day of our lives. By doing this, most of the population will never live up to their full potential in life and never understand why.
We end up with regrets for not taking action, missed opportunities, and fall into a deep depression wondering where we went wrong. Self destructive behavior is the silent unconscious dream killer that can lead us down the path of incarceration and grief.
Self Destructive Behavior Signs
Self sabotage is every behavior, emotion, thought, or action that holds you back from getting what you intentionally desire or want. Furthermore, it is a conflict that exists among the conscious wants and the unconscious needs that manifest in self sabotage behaviors.
It not only prevents you from reaching your milestones or goals but also the security and confidence that you can make it through anything life throws at you. What this basically means is that your mind thinks it’s securing you from getting hurt by doing what it considers is best for you.
But is your mind playing tricks on you?
Ask Yourself: Why Am I Self Destructive?
Self destructive behavior tends to linger in our lives because we lack self-worth, self-esteem, self-belief, and self-confidence. Likewise, we suffer from a self sabotage behavior because we’re not capable of controlling our feelings and our emotions effectively.
We tend to react to events, circumstances, and people in ways that hinder our growth and prevent us from reaching our visions and outcomes we want.
You Are Your Own Worst Enemy
Self sabotaging is also there as a way of coping with hard conditions or the high demands that we unconsciously feel we’re not at our best.
No matter what our issues for self destructive behavior, but it’s clear that if we do nothing about it, that we’ll continue to live a life of full of regrets and unfulfilled expectations.
How To Stop Self Sabotaging Syndrome
Don’t dwell on the reasons why you did what you did, just observe your thoughts. What was driving it? Was it an inner voice the pushed you to do it?
Was it spite, fear, or the need to be in charge even if that control is connected to things failing? Was it the need for joy through conflict or the desire for attention through sympathy?
When you ask yourself these questions, listen to that inner voice and write down everything it tells you. Seeing your own patterns more clearly is not the same as induced self-blame, but being more optimistic to what’s going on inside your head.
I want you to think and imagine on purpose. Get into the habit of imagining what success will be like. What is the feeling you get when you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to achieve. I want you to experience that feeling “right now”, in your mind…
Successful relationships, for instance, do not work fine all of the time; earning good cash does not solve all life’s issues. Victory is not night or day; it’s completely about the individual. Not everyone is after the same things in life.
So remember that becoming successful and getting what you want is not the objective here. But the compulsive “thought” of success is the key.
Your actions reflect your thoughts. So if you’re thinking negative thoughts, your actions will be self destructive.
Self Sabotaging is a Form of Perfectionism
You might have heard research that showed that people on strict diets, attempting to lose weight, will more likely overeat if they feel they’ve fell off the wagon even a little… I might as well just go on a binge since I screwed up anyways!
Another example of self sabotaging perfectionism is an female author I know has a great idea for a book.
She’s rewritten the book countless times when it was really good the first time. Now it’s been over 5 years and the book still hasn’t came out. The crazy part is… She always complains about her job and how she wants to quit one day.
Who knows, maybe if she would have put the book out instead of trying to make it perfect, she’d be living the dream by now. Even if the book was a flop, she would have gained important knowledge about the business.
Plus in 5 years, she could have written 3 – 4 other books which might have propelled her to the author she dreams of being one day.
Yet she remains in the same position…
Do You Ask Yourself: What Do People Think of Me?
When we seek validation from others and fail to actually “get” the validation we seek. We can easily spiral down a black hole of self destructive behavior.
Most of us do not think of ourselves as being selfish, but the reality is that self sabotage cannot only ruin things for yourself, but for others as well.
People so often deny that they’re behaving inconsiderately when it comes to their actions. People will do anything, even if it’s unethical, just for acceptance. Which is very selfish indeed. They do not intend to be selfish. But the behavior that they display is toxic for everyone who they come in contact with.
The point I’m trying to make is that… The validation you seek, comes from within. External approval only brings external blaming, and nothing good comes out of that.
Self Sabotaging Relationships And Patterns
Have you ever had a deep look at your self sabotaging relationship patterns?
The person who decides to end a good relationship for selfish reasons hurts the other person… The coworker who sabotages a business plan ruins it for everyone… The parent who sabotages the financial security for the family, ruins the living standard for the rest of the family and so on…
This is different that seeking approval like earlier… In this case, people depend on you to make the right decisions or no one is eating. This is where self destructive behavior can arise.
Because of “desperation”, we have a tendency to think irrational because the desperation clouds our judgement. In situations like these… You need time for yourself, time to reflect, and time to recharge.
Life is a journey, an exploration of one’s life…
Being open to life means seeing where some experiences will take you and accepting that there will be ups and downs. Of course, if something truly is not working or it really is not for you, that is fine; Do something else, but never give up.
Self-sabotage is like a bomb that suddenly explodes, pushing us away from our deepest desires. However, there are no excuses, because we’re the ones who has control over the pin in the grenade.
Therefore make a decision now that you would not fall prey to your self sabotage and self destructive behavior again.
My purpose is to Teach, Help, and Inspire you to create anything you desire in Life…
There’s a Wick that lies deep in Your Soul… When that wick becomes Lit, it creates a burning desire that transmutes “Believing You Can” into “Knowing You Will” ~ Julius